The light that shines from this little one!!! I have had her in my prayers and am faithful that she will beat this!! Great job Bengals!!
MS gives you so many reasons to shed a tear. These past couple of weeks it seemed to give me more than my share. But that girl I met in third grade challenged me to optimism. And I will not lose a challenge. Unless you challenge me to set myself on fire or be choked unconscious…yeah there are actually these kinds of challenges and folks more than happy to accept them. I actually watched one where two girls allowed two boys to basically choke them out or assist with them choking themselves out… hell I don’t know what I witnessed, but I watched and thought their parents have to feel
But back to my optimism challenge. (This is why my lover can’t keep me down long. I stray so easily). This week the pain, fatigue, brain fog, medications seemed to overwhelm me. Did I say pain? Maybe it was because our house was full of activity with back to school events and I really felt ill equipped to attack any of it. So as I slowly started to sink into my own private pity party I remembered my challenge. Every time a negative thought entered my mind I came up with a word to change the direction. The word was dolphin. Don’t ask me why dolphin. I have no idea *shrugs* But thinking dolphin did not stop the pain, medications, etc. I needed to physically do something for that. Then I saw this commercial
Yes!!! That is it!! I will what I want. Now that can be taken at least a couple of ways. For me. My will is what will drive me. So what did I do. I danced!! First I just did the chair/bed dance. You know where you are giving it all you got sitting in the bed or chair.
And I don’t know if it was the music or the movement, but my spirits were lifted. The circumstance was the same. I still had all the things I had before I started to flash dance it, but my will, my spirit was saying “Get it girl!!” And the next day I was listening to music and cutting a jig. Every now and again I had to say dolphin because thoughts like “You will pay for this later.” and “You’re gonna fall. Sit down!.” would surface DOLPHIN DOLPHIN. I am living my life in motion!! <<<(Stolen from the woman below)
Misty Copeland thanks for that commercial. It came right on time and for all of you out there…
I HOPE YOU DANCE
“Promise me you’ll give faith a fighting chance…” Can y’all promise me and Lee Ann that? Now
READY. SET. DANCE
Recently while checking my facebook notifications I came across a tag about optimism. Now this tag was from a friend I have had since third grade. My first thought was “She’s always been happy. Let me read this because I need a dose of her never ending happy. happy. joy. joy.” As I read how her spirit was being dampened by the woes of the world I understood. As she spoke of her choice to now go 90 days being optimistic and charging all tagged in it I thought “Wait. What? Oh no I am not the Pollyanna type. I can not be charged with this!!” I was ready to just dismiss her post, ignore it, whatever I had to do not to be running around singing
That is just not going to happen. I mean she has always been the person to see the glass as
While in my head the glasses go something like this.
Because depending on what’s in the glass…but I digress. So I read her post a second time because well she’s my friend and she is not one to be ignored!! These are the words that got me.
“… I watched an interview with the President of the World Bank, Jim Yong Kim about his goal to drastically reduce poverty by 2030. At the end, he said “it is a moral imperative to choose optimism because cynicism and pessimism kills any hope, progress, and innovation”. I was struck by his words–” a moral imperative to choose optimism.” I let those words chase me throughout my day.”
Ugggggh she makes me sick!! OK not really. She just got me to turn my frown upside down. Lawd did I just say that?
^^^I had to add a little grumpy cat.
This friend of mine gave me a little insight on her light. This morning she posted how her day started off not exactly as a not so morning person would like, but then she made a decision. She made a decision to change her view of getting up early to feed a crying baby. She just simply embraced it with a different attitude.
Oh see how I said that so optimistically. “She simply embraced it with a different attitude.” Yep I rolled my eyes, but hey optimism is work and for the next 90 days I will put in the work to see if this can become a habit. The hashtag my friend used pretty much summed it up.
So my lover thinks it’s fun to do things like hide my car from me. You know, you go inside the store and you concentrate real hard to do things like oh I don’t know walk. So I go into a store, grab a buggie as soon as I can so I can lean and then I shop. This is when my lover decides today would be a good day to play hide the car. Yep I check out, walk outside, and well panic sets in as I now realize I have no earthly idea where my car is. This is what I see.
Somewhere my lover is doing this
So as I try to run through my brain to search for any recollection of where this vehicle could be, the heat begins to work on me. SO what do I do? Head back into the store’s Starbucks and have a Venti, Oprah Chai on Ice. I noticed I can out think my lover when I relax and don’t pay him no mind. So as I sip my Oprah Chai that she created just for me and moments like this. Y’all know Oprah and I are friends right. She took me to Australia and everything!! So as I sit, sip and reminisce about Russell Crowe, Jay-Z, Hugh Jackman and Bono (These are a few people Oprah shared with me) I start to relax and remember. But then my legs are not quite ready to cooperate so I continue to sit as my lover tries to ruin a perfectly good afternoon of shopping. Hpmf. When will he learn. I will not be defeated!!
Because I am soooooooo
I’ve been waiting for just the right post to include my werewolf love!! Well this is it. This man right here is a good enough reason to change your species. Now where was I? Oh yeah finding my car. I found it, loaded the spoils of my shopping day and then decided to go make an appointment with a new Primary Care physician. Oh how this was a huge mistake. We all know that as MSers we have to limit how many activities in which we participate in a day or disaster is sure to strike.
Sooooo I went to the address I thought I remembered correctly. Why was I counting on my memory? Because I left the paper that I had written the address on at home. Duh!!! So I went to building 1800 in the medical complex and just looked for her name on the directory. (I’m so smart) except I was researching two doctors…what were their names now? Uggggghhhh OK one name looks familiar so I head to suite 120. Score!! She’s an internal medicine doctor and the office looks pretty nice. I start to make my appointment, but then make sure I ask my questions first. What hospitals does Dr. So and So have privileges? The answer was none. Huhn. How can you be a physician and not have privileges at any hospital? What if I’m admitted for something? Was my next question. You can see the doctors that are on call. Huhn? Ummmm no thank you. So I left the building and decided I should utilize the google on my smartphone. SCORE!!! Found the initial doctor I was looking for!!!
^^^^In Honor of World Cup.
So I headed to building 1700 she was not there, but they thought she may have moved to building 1600…wasn’t there either. As a matter of fact she had moved her offices across town!!! Oh I was fading. I was exhausted!! Then a little lady told me of a doctor right next door. I went in, asked the pertinent questions, and tried to schedule an appointment. Nope booked all the way until December!! Ugggggh Then the nice receptionist whispers “If you can be seen today and finish your paperwork quickly I’ll squeeze you in.” I was seen that day and today I got all my test results back. Didn’t I tell you I was not to be defeated!! Neither are you!!!
What were my test results? Let’s just say I still have work to do, but I will not give up! I just don’t have it in me. I apparently have no Vitamin D either…
Defeat is never an option when you have…FAVOR!! To God Goes the Glory!!
Walk a mile in my shoes…hell I can’t even walk a mile in my shoes soooo. As one with an invisible disease it can get frustrating sometimes when you KNOW people just don’t damn get it. No I can’t go to a concert with you in July that is going to be outside in 95 degree weather for 2 hours. Yes I have to sit down right now!! And although I do not have a handicapped tag or placard if I did I would not be explaining to some self righteous asshole why I am parking in the handicapped spot. I hear a lot of MSers who feel so embarrassed and guilty about parking in these spots and the looks and comments they get. Let me tell you this if you are one suffering from an invisible illness, you MUST find a way not to give two damns about how someone else views you or your needs. Now this not giving a damn can also expend to family and friends if necessary. If you need to sit down. Sit. If you need to sleep for 15 hours…sleep. Kay? Kay. The only one in your body is you. And if you neglect or abuse it, because of what you think others perceive, guess what? YOU are the one paying for it!! Now. Go grab a family member, friend, stranger, somebody and show them this post. I will attempt to shed a little light. But understand very few people who do not experience a disease like ours will ever fully understand. They just won’t. Change your expectation in that regard.
Now all non-MSers read and watch. And the next time you think “Aww it ain’t that bad. She/he looks fine.” Just remember we’re probably thinking “He/She can’t be this ignorant. He/She looks so intelligent.” *giggles*
Well sure you see me walking in these shoes
But do you know on the inside I am feeling like I am ALWAYS walking in these
MS is called an invisible disease because most people with MS don’t have any signs of being sick. We don’t have a deformity that you can readily identify. Although on the outside we look like
We feel like
I recently came across a video that may give you more insight than the pictures I’ve shown. Take a look
Sorry you haven’t heard from me and my world of Tecfidera in about a week. This MS Fatigue and random pain has had me a little ummmm eeeeer PISSED OFF!! I mean come on now can a girl get a break? This lover of mine is not happy about my attempting to kick him to the curb and he is being very spiteful. I decided that yeah I’m not going to let him push me around. I have my provigil for the fatigue and I plan to use it. In case you don’t know what provigil is, it is just a medication that gives you wings…Yeah it’s the red bull of pills. Now provigil also helps with ADHD, depression and a whole host of other things that I had no idea about. Anyway this post is about Tecfidera and how I have done over the past week with the 240mg twice a day.
Welp no problems at all. No stomach issues (I still have no appetite), no more flushing or itching, my lady parts are back to their normal temperature, and I haven’t forgotten again to take not one dose. So the thrill is gone…no more excitement to inform you of. Whatever shall we talk about now? Hmmmmm. I did have interesting conversations with two of my friends who didn’t even want to read my blog because they didn’t want to know all that I go through. Have any of you ever thought about that? The fact that this disease can be so scary for the people that care about you that they essentially hide from it? I think I’ll ask a few of our fellow MSers about this as well as others that suffer from chronic illnesses. Since this post isn’t that long and there was nothing exciting to report in the world of Tecfidera and the MS Mistress, I’ll leave you with this video.
Warning: Grab a tissue.
Because of this right here Bruno Mars can no longer do any wrong as far as I’m concerned. AMAZING!!
I loved Whitney. I love Angela Bassett. This should be good.