Author Archives: The MS Mistress

Whet the democracy????

Whet the democracy????

The “Whet” is not a spelling error. This election cycle is filled with so much insanity that a Bish Whet is in order.


Let me just say that I love this little baby. He is just giving all the cuteness. Now about this train wreck of Whetmocracy. On the republican side we have narrowed it down from umpteen million candidates by giving the stage to the most vile, racist, sexist, showman I have seen in a political run for the presidency in my lifetime. We have allowed the things that are really plaguing this country to be upstaged by a baddest man hit my hand contest and it is reprehensible. I want to say America is better than this, but is it really? A country as rich as this and before the Affordable Care Act I couldn’t get insurance to help cover my medical expenses. This country which has sent men to the moon, couldn’t figure out a way to ensure all of its citizens had access to healthcare? Well anyway back to Ringling Brothers and the circus that should have never been.

Y’all look I don’t care who anyone votes for, but I do expect folks to make their decisions based on something other that jibber jabber my hands are small but my penis is bigger than yours there will be a wall and mass deportations and ion know how imma pay for it, well Mexicocalifragilisticexpiallidocious it will be great and you’re a loser. I thought a spoon full of sugar helped the bullshit go down. Ain’t nothing sweet about any of this…wait that was medicine. Mary Poppins would never say bullshit.


I can’t even have my kids watch these debates. They are so interested in this process and I want them to see the debates on both sides. So far they have seen the Democrat side… There are grown men who want to lead a nation basically trying to out bully one another. Really? I mean just a few years ago we had grown men  who debated about their political and policy differences on how to lead this country and what they stood for morally. We had huge rallies where all were accepted and allowed to listen to what any candidate had to say even if they disagreed and hollered out that disagreement. The presidential candidates would respond with how they would address whatever problem was shouted out or they would ignore the outburst and continue with their stump speech. Why? Because the men of the past elections recognized that this is indeed a country that allows its citizens to check them when they are vying to represent them. They however never allowed for or commanded other citizens to harm anyone because of differences. As a matter of fact I would bet that, Republican or Democrat, none of our former candidates would have allowed for anyone to be attacked on their watch, at their rally, on their command. As potential leaders of this country they understood that they are to set examples for what is and is not acceptable. They were going to disagree without being disagreeable.

These are all the the people who were in the running to be leader of the free world


Somewhere along the way we got so sick of the establishment and status quo so  we decided we would go with loud, disrespectful, racist, sexist, and just 50 shades of orange and wrong. I don’t want anyone representing this country who is not compassionate enough to ensure that he or she will know they are running this country appropriately by what he or she does for the least of us. In order to do that, he or she has to be willing to listen to the woes and sorrows of the disenfranchised. What does “Make America great again” really mean for the candidate who loves to shout it? When was America not great for the white, male, and rich?

Welp this heah post had not a thing to do with MS…or did it? Our lives are so much more than our MS. But having MS does have us look at the world a little different. I think more about health legislation. I think more about MS patients who are homeless. I think more about caregivers. I think more about people who really feel like they have no voice, no support and who feel they are as invisible as our disease is. I want a leader who accepts, fights for, and speaks for us all. In my opinion, if you do this for the least of us you will do this for all of us.




Friends…How many of us have them.

Friends…How many of us have them.

Friends, ones we can depend on…before we go any further, let’s be friends!! Do y’all know that song by Whodini? If not, Friends <<<Get you some!

I’ve spoken with so many MSers about how they lost family and friends after being diagnosed. Now some of the folks they lost needed to be lost and never again found. Then there were other situations where the MSer simply didn’t do their part. Look, Y’all know I get it. You don’t want to feel like a burden. Well guess what? It’s burdensome for your friends to wonder if you are getting out enough. If you might be depressed because you don’t hang with them anymore. Did they do something to offend or hurt you. It’s burdensome for your friends to wonder if you are just not interested in a friendship with them anymore. DO YOUR PART!! What does that mean? Welp. I’m here to tell you.

  1. When a friend asks you to join them for, let’s just say, tea. Now for us we aren’t just agreeing to the tea drinking. We are agreeing to all those things like showering, getting dressed, doing our hair and make-up and then recovering from the getting ready for this outing. We then have to assess will we have anything left to drive to said spot for this tea drinking, engage in witty banter whilst drinking this tea, and drive home and handle whatever is waiting for us there. All of this just  for…

    Tea anyone?

    See I get it. But here’s a solution. Impromptu is hard for us. So tell that friend you’d love to and ask if they can pick you up. And please save the guilt of “Oh that just seems like so much.” If it is, they’ll tell you and you all can schedule for a time when they can drive.. I assure you your friends don’t mind. Or maybe the rescheduled time will be a time when you can conquer all and proclaim “LET ME DRINK TEA BECAUSE MS AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME!!”

  2. Next. Your friends have lives that don’t include you or your disease and that is just fine!! Get over yourself. No one’s life should include all of you all the time. So if you are looking from the outside in on all the great things your friend or friends are doing that don’t include you…get a life. Harsh huhn? I know. When you have a disease that is just set on taking your life’s activities from you, it’s hard to know how to get a life. Look. A life doesn’t mean you are out zip lining, skiing, bike riding, etc. or maybe it does. But if it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean you don’t have a life. Your life could be reading a great book, watching a movie, or sleeping. Sleeping is essential…oh and some days I look forward to it. Your life can be going to what seems like an endless amount of doctor’s appointments. This is going to sound so Iyanla Vanzant Belovedness, but find a way to even make those acceptable and possibly enjoyable. I actually had to learn this. I do things like take candy to the staff. (Which opens the door to some pretty funny conversation.) My point is, if you don’t have a life…don’t blame it on your friends or MS. Change your perspective. Because hating your life and everyone who isn’t helping you get a life…aintnobodygottimeforthat


3. Friends that don’t call as much as they used to. Call them!! And when you do, don’t have the expectation that the call will be a long one. Don’t get all caught in your feelings that your friend isn’t asking you about all the treatments and issues you are having or have had. No one (including you) wants to talk about MS and illness all the time. And if you need to talk about it, know who to call. Know your friends. I have friends that I know I can call and be a big arse baby if I want to be.(well one happens to be my little sister so jackpot for me.) Then I have friends that I can call and we will cut up about everything under the sun, but we don’t really talk about my MS much or their ailments either. But booooy do we talk about folks. I mean this political cycle alone has given us ammunition for decades to come. The GOP side looks like something from the Seven Dwarfs…dwarfs of menopause

Now where was I? Oh yeah. Just call, talk, and enjoy. If they don’t answer, leave a message. If they never call back…well Bye! Move on. Were y’all friends anyway? Or just acquaintances that were convenient for a time and now time’s up. Time expires on friendships too. Doesn’t mean they were bad friends or that you were, just means time’s up.

4. african-american-woman-clip-art-136153 <<<sometimes this is what I envision my friends and I look like when we are hanging out and sometimes this is exactly what it looks like. Then there are times when it looks like thisgirls-hanging-out-10467128  Just us hanging out at someone’s house eating cookies, talking, watching the kids run around and enjoying what is us. On these days, I have usually been driven to whatever the destination is. My friends understand that I may or may not be social. But in order for my friends to get accustomed to all that is me I have to be honest with them about what that is. I don’t pretend to be ok when I’m not. I ask for help when I need it. I tell them, don’t stop inviting me to <insert event> I’ll make one eventually. And they don’t stop inviting me. I am honest about why I didn’t attend an event. Lately I’ve had to say “I’m not going to make it because my legs ain’t loyal.” To this they’ll say ok next time or I’ll come get you. Either way, I did my part and they did theirs.


Friendships take work. Most of that work is honesty and communication. If you do your part…You’ll still have MS, you’ll have a life and you might just have a few friends.


Remember everyone has something. Don’t let your something rob you of everything. Now excuse me while I call around and see who wants to meet me for tacos…



Tecfidera, T-Cells and Copaxone…Oh My!!

Tecfidera, T-Cells and Copaxone…Oh My!!

Oh yeah I was supposed to be all back and in the mix with y’all but *sighs* life happened…again. So where did we leave off. Oh I was still on Tecfidera. I sat in 97 degree heat over the summer and did pretty well (Although I don’t suggest it. I paid dearly but hey YOLO!! Yeah right I was in bed for a week after. We’ll talk about that later). Sooooo My Tecfidera journey ended with a call from the nurse that said “Don’t take another dose.” Yeah my T-cells went on vacation…or were evicted by Tecfidera. Because I have the greatest neurologist ever (Dr. Guy Buckle) I was monitored properly, removed from Tecfidera and called in to discuss other options. One of those options was Copaxone.

needles needles needles

Needles!!! Needles!!! NEEDLES!!

But before we go there let’s rewind and talk about Tecfidera.

Oh it was a wonderful blocker of all things MS. My lover must have found another, I thought. He gave me very few problems. I was at softball games, cheering, being a softball mom and loving every minute of it. I was living it up!! I would forget a dose every now and then, but for the most part my Tecfidera journey was non eventful. I didn’t get any new lesions, I had no relapses and last MRI showed no active lesions so I was loving this. I still had the fatigue of a million years of no rest, but hey you can’t expect a stalker lover to just give all the way up. Wouldn’t be natural. Then my lover  Michael EalyED my Morris Chestnut. If you have no idea what I’m talking about you must have missed The Perfect Guy.

The Perfect Guy

Y’all have got to see this movie. I mean it’s not in theaters anymore, but go buy it. Why? Well because the folks in this movie are just beautiful. Oh and it’s pretty good movie too. Anyway, Tecfidera kicked my T-cells arse and well I had to leave him alone. Tecfidera came in and basically turned off my body’s security system. Ole sneaky bastard. So I had to let him go. Good thing is I had a back up generator and my T-cells are fine now. My stalker lover hasn’t found out I am unarmed and hasn’t given me any real issues. But now I am faced with one of my biggest fears…needles. Now in case y’all don’t know, I am terrified of them. The pain is not the issue (I gave birth with no drugs. I can handle pain). The issue is seeing that needle pierce my skin!!

So Copaxone was up next and was chosen as the best course of action at this point. At least that’s what my neurologist was telling me. When he mentioned Copaxone I was like…WHET

But in the end I started Copaxone about 3 weeks ago and my next post will tell you how it’s going. Just know that all hands are on deck for this heah. My husband, children, friends, perfect strangers. Speaking of perfect, let me give y’all a peak at The Perfect Guy . Gwon pick it up. Michael Ealy and Morris Chestnut in the same movie… on the same screen?!!! *Swoons*



Hostage released



Long hiatus huhn? I was being held hostage by my lover. Well not just my lover, but my life with my lover. I think I just got tired of talking about him. It seemed he had just taken over my life in every way. If I wasn’t protecting myself from him, I was talking or writing about him. I’m sure you can all relate. So I took a little bit to just go about my business. Now I was still protecting myself from him, but I wasn’t waking up thinking about what activities he would allow me to do or not to do. You know how it goes. You open your eyes and the first thing you assess is what’s your pain like. Fatigue? New symptoms? Although I still did these things (Because what’s stalking lover if he doesn’t make you think about him constantly) I spent very little time talking about him. Then today I sat in a hospital room with a friend as she received her treatment for Sickle Cell. I realized us sharing our stories with each other gave us strength. The strength to fight another day. I remembered that this is the very reason I started this blog. I wanted to reach out to someone who may be in the battle of their lives and need to know someone out there understood. Oh the time I took off has been full of stuff that I just must share with you. Like how I sat in 97 degree heat cheering for my baby as she made the Allstar team for the first time. How I lost a friend to cancer and it blind sided me so much that I still haven’t recovered. How a woman I went to elementary school with asked me to speak to inspire women and another friend I went to High School with gave me the gift of understanding as she spoke about her journey as a caregiver. Oh my lover has been busy. He didn’t just go away because I stopped talking about him. I did realize that talking about him is exactly what I needed to do. So, here I am. Back at it. I have been released from my “No talking about MS” hiatus. I’m BAAAAAACKKKKK!!!

Here Is Why Paying For The Date Is Not About The Money

Here Is Why Paying For The Date Is Not About The Money

YES!!!!! YES!!!!! YES!!!!!

James Michael Sama

So, you’ve spotted this woman at your local Starbucks, or grocery store, or tagged in a friend’s Facebook photo. You’ve started up a conversation, and she has agreed to spend some time with you. Let’s keep it simple and say you go to dinner.

Fantastic! You pick her up, open the door, and are a perfect gentleman all night. Then, the bill comes.

The next thing out of your mouth is “So, should we split it?”

And then, her face:


In my opinion, the man should always pay for dates, at least in the beginning stages of a relationship. But, why? She makes her own money, maybe even more than you. Shouldn’t she split it? Or, maybe even pay for it?

No. And this is why:

Dating is about courtship. Traditionally, men have been the ones to do the pursuing when it came to dating. They had to prove to…

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Team Leah!! Leah Strong


I haven’t blogged in a while. Mainly because I got tired of talking about MS. You ever get just sick of hearing about it, talking about, being treated for it, just down right sick of it? So I took a sabbatical from MS. Well as much of a sabbatical as one can take. In taking that sabbatical I was watching TV and this beautiful picture popped up.

Leah Still


This is Devon and Leah Still. Leah is battling Neuroblastoma. My last blog post will give you the entire story. Here’s the link  I saw this beautiful face and the light that is just bursting from her and said I want to do something to help her. I want to help her kick cancer’s arse!! I think I’m so drawn to her because she reminds me so much of my own Leah. Just full of life and they are fearless!!! I also realized I needed to help her and children everywhere who are battling this son of a biscuit disease. My first step. Pray. Pray for this little one. My second step. Recruit. Yep recruit. I am recruiting right now for  #TeamLeah We will all be #LeahStrong and do everything we can to stomp out childhood cancers. If these little ones can fight with all they have why can’t we help them? My team so far consists of 7 and 8 year olds who have been busy stomping. Check out their stomping gear.

#TeamLeah #LeahStrong


Third Step. Bone Marrow drive. Why a bone marrow drive? Because the last one I did yielded a match!! I haven’t done one since 2011. Some childhood cancers can be treated with a bone marrow transplant. That is great news, but for some it is slim to none that you find a match. That is unacceptable. I will once again partner up with the Be The Match foundation and together with #TeamLeah we will Stomp out cancer. Wanna join #TeamLeah? Email me at a picture of your stomping gear and a message for Leah and/or Tweet Devon Still @Dev_Still71. Use hashtag #LeahStrong #TeamLeah Tell me how you plan to help stomp out childhood cancer!! If you decide to donate money please get with a reputable organization such as The American Cancer Society

I won’t tell you that my dreaded lover is not pursuing me as relentlessly as he ever has. Hey that’s what MS does. Right? But I will tell you that I am giving him less and less attention and well that feels great. Oh I am still on Tecfidera and I seem to be doing well no complaints.