“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
Well my 2010 totally embodied this quote. The thing I feared most was losing my mother. She was the only person in existence that had been with me since before the sperm of my daddy met her egg. She knew and understood my movements, demeanor, the very essence of me before anyone else had ever set eyes on me. How could I survive in a world that didn’t include her? Well she had always said to me “My job is to make sure you can live in this world without me.” How could I survive in a world that did not include her? HMPF!! I wasn’t going to do that!! Well in 2010 I faced that fear head on and without faith I never would have made it. On February 22, 2010 I was forced into a world without my mother. In the moments when she took her last breath, I hated what that world looked and felt like. 30 days later I am in a hospital being diagnosed with MS. This didn’t scare me…hell I was numb!!! Less than 90 days later my Daddy…Dead. No fear. There was just nothing.
It’s not that fear no longer existed in me. For example if a bird crossed my path I was convinced it would pluck my eyes out!!! Even with shades on. Yep that bird would remove my shades and then dine on my eye balls. Yep a real fear!! Oh and Bridges. Any bridge is liable to collapse or at any moment I could drive off of said bridge for no apparent reason at all. Cause you know folk love to just fall from, jump from, and drive off bridges!! And if bridges bring about fear then certainly heights will elicit the same fear. Right? It is only reasonable and perfectly logical. Well these were my last three fears ( I think) and how else to do you face and conquer fear? Well other than FAITH and GOD…OPRAH!!! I am convinced GOD used Oprah to help me heal. But we’ll explore that later.
Yep this is me standing next to Oprah…Now in the next post I’ll have to tell you how in the hell this woman got me to sit in an audience with birds swooping down and snatching coins outta people’s hands. Said birds may or may not have flown directly over my head and threatened to eat my eye balls with favre beans. This woman also got me to climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge. We may or may not have been atop that bridge for 40 days and 40 nights…Oh my dear Auntie O why must you take me all the way to the other side of the world to ack a complete fool?!! Yeah ya’ll I showed owt. Hmpf Eleanor said face your fears. She ain’t said NATHAN about facing them without showing all the way OWT!! Lawd!! I know my mama and daddy chuckled watching me face and “conquer” these fears. See yah in a few days. I’ll tell you all about the birds first.